couldn't NOT post this ;)

How freaking fun and hilarious, right? I love how the Royal lookalikes are pretty convincing.

Did you watch the wedding? What did you think? I've just been catching up with a bit of the coverage online and I adore HRH Kate's dress and all the fabulous hats.

Video via Tralalere.

Spring

Spring! And Earth is like a child
who has learned many poems by heart.
For the trouble of that long learning
she wins the prize.

Her teacher was strict. We loved the white
of the old man's beard. Now we can ask her
the many names of green, of blue,
and she knows them, she knows them!

Earth, school is out now. You're free
to play with the children. We'll catch you,
joyous Earth. The happiest will catch you!

All that the teacher taught her—the many thoughts
pressed now into roots and long
tough stems: she sings! She sings!

--Ranier Maria Rilke, Sonnets to Orpheus I, 21

All photos by me, except for 2 and 4, which are by my friend, Corie.

Birth Story of the Week: Like Water from Morning Air

This wonderful birth story was sent to me by Erica, author of the blog Becoming Mama Wise, and it was written by Erica's husband. Of all the stories I have posted, I think this is the first planned unassisted home birth. Erica included this note, which illuminates the couple's attitudes about birthing without the help of a midwife or doctor:

"we're not planned unassisted childbirth missionaries (by any means!!!); the decision to birth at home alone was one we made very specific to my age, health, pregnancy stats, and 2-minute proximity to one of the best hospitals in sf. were any of those circumstances different we perhaps would have made a different choice. we had a beautiful, extraordinary, empowering birth, but i don't want anyone to feel like they can't have that at home with a midwife, or even in a hospital."

I loved reading about their incredibly personal journey to bringing their child into the world, and I think you will too. Thanks for sharing, guys!

--Leigh

AG, you were born in our hearts before you arrived to this world of joy and strife. As any two people sharing lives, we had our struggles, your mom and I, but never with you coming to our lives. We watched her belly grow, amazed at the biology, at the miracle of you in there getting ready to live a human life with us in this mad and beautiful world. Just the vision of your little face and hands, of your smell and cooing baby sounds always made us smile, and sometimes even cry... not something I do very easily. And then, when you finally arrived, well, my heart cracked open wide as I cry now and forever in sweetness for you... that which I only feel for you and your big brother, Brandon.

We really wanted to have you born in the softness of our own gentle home. I was nervous about this, to do this without experienced help, but not your mom; she knew what all women know but most forget, that we would have the collective help of all the women who have ever lived, that giving birth is what she is made for, and that you would come to us like water from morning air.

We tried to be patient as your due date arrived and passed, but as you’ll know soon enough, waiting is a lifelong treasure. We went to a museum that night, and something in the air felt different, kinda dreamy for me, and kinda constipated for your mom; We knew you were coming.

She knew it would be hard... or she thinks she knew it would be hard because people tell us this and she was reading about it for nine months; I knew she had no clue what she was in for. It started slowly and softly, around ten o’clock. We lit candles and played mellow music; I scurried around making sure everything was in easy reach, while she tried to find comfortable positions for the surging waves that would eventually build to be an earthquake in the air... really, she was making sounds that made the air shake. The most primal and true force of nature had enveloped our home through your mom. It was late at night and, though I knew the neighbors were understanding of what was happening on the other side of their wall, I hoped nobody had to get up early for work or church. At one point I was certain the police would come pounding at the door, guns drawn, demanding my surrender for murder.

In the bathroom, really? That’s where she wanted to be and nothing would be better, not the warm water tub, nor the propped pillowy bed. On the toilet, really? I just had to figure out how to maneuver her and you and me all in that small space, and I really hoped you wouldn’t land in the bowl. Our sweet puppy Oso was curious all night, seated right outside the bathroom door... trying to get a few times to see what the ruckus was all about. Between the throes of her thundering, I tried to massage her, give her water, or whatever she wanted, but of course, little I did could ease the pressure of the next swelling wave. She wanted to be alone for some of this, to focus, to surrender into this rolling ride, in and out of here and now, off into some other place you nor I will ever know. I thought it would go on for many more hours, so I laid in bed to rest and listen to this tribal superwoman scream and vibrate the walls. Around three a.m. her
contractions were very close together and very intense, and I mean out of this world.

Intense; there’s no way anybody who hasn’t done it before can be ready for this kind of intensity, no matter what people tell you or what you read. And that’s about when I saw the top of your head inside your momma’s vagina... “whoa, okay, here we go, now I can do something. First of all, it was really cool, you had dropped in for the final descent, and I could see that you had lots of dark hair. I could see the amniotic sac intact...hmmm, should I break it, how do I break it, when do I break it? Your momma kept wailing as her body pushed you closer to the world... it wouldn’t be long. I was nervous about what I didn’t know, but calm and ready to do what ever needed to be done to take care of you and your momma. The top of your head came closer, more of it showing, and your momma’s cootchie stretching unimaginably. I decided to touch the sac with my finger to feel it’s texture and thickness, and when I did this it just popped like a bubble and thankfully clear fluid poured out. I rubbed your hair... another pushing and you were closer, and then another... I could see you were facing downward, your head more than halfway out, WOW, this is amazing to watch and hear and smell, your momma, still on the toilet, pushing your small body through a yet smaller opening, like squeezing a watermelon through a garden hose, as they say. She lifted her hips with each pushing surge as I gently guided your head further and further, until suddenly your whole head was out and you turned your head to the side and I saw your face... Oh my god, your face, buddha like with eyes wide open gazing about. I slipped my finger inside to feel your neck... smooth and clear, no cord, pheeew. Here comes a shoulder, and whooops, quickly here comes the rest of you like a wet eel... I had to hold your head with one hand and catch your slippery body with the other, clutching you to my chest so you wouldn’t slip away from me... no, I did not almost drop you.

You had a blue-ish tint to your pink body, normal and healthy. You weren’t crying like I thought you should be, but I could tell that you were breathing. Your momma lay down on the bathroom floor, towels underneath, and I put you right to her chest, your lifeline cord still inside on the placenta. I could feel momma’s heart beat still pulsing through it to you. I suctioned your nose and mouth, rubbed your back and legs and feet... I really wanted you to cry, to take big gulps of air to hear your lungs open wide, but you didn’t; you just cooed and gurgled a little, gazing about the candle-lit bathroom... okay, he’s still got good color, he’s breathing, his reflexes are wiggly and strong, his face is expressive, his heart rate is strong... the cord stopped pulsing, so I clamped and cut, for you to forever have your own blood supply. Where’s the placenta... c’mon... this isn’t over yet... the baby is okay... now the momma... more painful contractions and after about 25 minutes it came out looking like a big piece of liver spilling onto blood soaked towels. The quaking noise stopped and I wondered if the world knew you were here, or at least maybe the neighbors.

We moved to the bed... everything seemed okay, though the bathroom looked like a scene from Dexter. You were perfect, relaxed and dazed. Your momma was perfect, relaxed and dazed... but I was still in there, monitoring, watching everything. At the least, for the re-assurance that you and momma were safe and healthy, I’m glad we went to the hospital. I’m really glad we went after our own home birth, by ourselves, just our family right from the start; nothing will ever change what the three of us did together.

Through the night, I was indeed focused on the business of birthing you, keeping you and momma safe, but I was also above the whole scene of us, watching from somewhere else. I’ve always been somewhat of a living contradiction, so to say I’m a “spiritual atheist” makes sense, and it feels right to say that the god-who-doesn’t-exist lifted the curtain that night... gave us a live back-stage participation in one of the greatest forces in the universe, the creation of a new life-force... You...AG, may you always take big gulps of air with wide open lungs, and gaze about the world... buddha-like.

Photo via Becoming Mama Wise.

Eggs

Our Easter egg handiwork :)

We used this natural dye kit + crayons.

So much fun!

Muter on Breastfeeding

Pieta on the Rhone, Maternity, and Children

all works by Mela Muter (Maria Melania Mutermilch),

1876-1967.

Found here and here.

say it hot

From here, via here.

Happy Weekend

I hope you're already enjoying a lovely weekend! Taro and the boys and I are headed downtown to hang out at an Our Time workshop all day, so we're looking forward to a lot of fun and friends. Later, we have plans to watch E.T. for the first time with Jackson (a movie that's kind of a great resurrection allegory in the spirit of Easter, if you think about it!) He's my little cinephile and really excited to see it, especially since we had this conversation outlining the plot:

"Mom, what's an E.T.?"

"It stands for extraterrestrial."

"What's extraterrestrial?"

"An alien life form."

"What's an alien life form?"

"Well, some people think that with all the stars and planets and galaxies in the Universe, that there is the possibility that other creatures exist on other planets -- kind of like humans or animals -- but they're so far away we just haven't met them yet, or figured out how to communicate. This movie is a pretend, imaginative story about what might happen if a little alien creature came to Earth and became best friends with a human little boy."

"OH! YOU MEAN LIKE A PLAYDATE? COOL!!!"

In other news, here are some fun links:

The prettiest eggs.

Freedom boobs! Here, here, and here.

To Don't.

You know home birth is mainstream when...

Become someone else.

Redbook asked me to contribute some of my tips for a lasting marriage! You can read what I had to say, here.

XOXO,

Leigh

Photo via Veronica Loves Archie.

Marla Cielo

Aren't these envelope clutches by New York designer Marla Cielo just fantastic? Each one is completely unique, due to the process of hand-painting large leather "canvasses", cutting them into strips, and then weaving the pieces into a bag. Functional fashion meets one-of-a-kind artwork! Check out the website to see the whole range.

You can also shop Marla Cielo's latest collections at a special event on April 28th from 6-9 pm at Bond 07 (07 Bond Street, NYC). Enjoy a cocktail while you shop, meet the designer, and even watch her demonstrate the painting process! I plan to go, and it would be great to see you there ;)

D.I.L.F. Tumblr

The tagline is "I like you and your baby," LOL. A fun read if you melt for hot dads and cute babies...and I'm assuming you do ;) You're welcome.

thursday morning pretty

How gorge is this gown by Leanne Marshall? I was a big fan of hers on Season 5 of Project Runway. It's so great to see that her work has gotten even better with time!

I posted about another one of her wedding dresses, a couple of years back. Did you see it?

Birth Story of the Week: It Doesn't Have to Hurt

I've enjoyed following along with Stacy's pregnancy posts on her blog, Hart and Sew, for months, and I was delighted to read about her happy, natural, hospital birth. I love her descriptions of how hypnobirthing techniques helped her navigate labor, keeping fear and doubt at bay as her body did its thing. Inspiring! Thank you so much for sharing, Stacy.

--Leigh

Round one.

When I was pregnant with the Little Miss (my first) I half decided to give birth naturally. I started seeing some midwives and attended a hypnobirthing class, but if I am going to be honest I always knew in the back of my mind that I could opt for an epidural since I would be in the hospital - which is why I say half decided. I was scared of the unknown. But I read the book cover to cover, practiced the relaxation techniques almost daily, and kept telling myself I could do it...maybe...

When I finally started having contractions 1 week past my due date I failed miserably at putting into practice everything I had learned. I didn't even bring my relaxation music with me to the hospital. I was excited and scared, but mostly naive. I dilated to about a 5 or 6 before I started seriously thinking about that epidural. How much worse was this going to get? I gave in. Her birth was still a good experience and I didn't make myself feel bad about getting the epidural, but a part of me knew that I had to prove to myself I could do it naturally next time.

***

Round two.

(with the lessons I learned along the way)

I started having practice contractions on Wednesday night about 20 minutes apart which got me excited because I knew from my first experience it was only a matter of time now that I was actually feeling something. The next night Husband and I went out to dinner for some spicy Thai food in hopes to get things really started and to have one last date. Once we got home my contractions started getting a little more intense and by 1:30 am I was calling my mom to come over since I had asked her to be my doula.

Lesson number one - I knew from my first experience that I needed to surround myself with more support. I knew my mom would encourage me to keep going naturally if my resolve started wavering.

(Funny side story - I called my mom at least 20 times and she didn't answer her phone so I knew she couldn't hear it or it was dead. I had to call my oldest sister who lives in her same town in the dead of night to ask her a favor - would she please drive over to mom's house and wake her up!!! Turns out my mom went to a movie with my aunt that night and forgot to take her phone off vibrate. Of all the nights, ha!)

I couldn't sleep so I started listening to my hypnobirthing relaxation and when my mom arrived at about 3:00 am we started timing my contractions. I sat in a comfy rocker and would say, 'start' and 'stop' when my contractions came and went, all the while doing deep yoga breathing through them and totally relaxing my body. Each one felt just a little different and a 3-D mental image would come into my mind of what the contraction 'looked' like - once it was a butterfly, another time a fish jumping out of the water, but mostly just abstract shapes. They would start small and grow as the contraction peaked and then I would blow the images away with my breath. That was something I did not expect but it was pretty incredible and beautiful what my relaxed state of mind generated. They gradually got stronger and stronger but I never felt any pain, only tightening, a tingling sensation of building intensity, and waves of power surging downward. I began to look forward to the next one.

And then all of a sudden they slowed way down around 7:00 am. This was frustrating but I was very relaxed and not even tired because I had been in a meditative, restful state all night. The slow time ended up being nice because we could freshen up, and walking around and taking a shower got my contractions going again. So back to the rocker it was for another few hours and the contractions continued to get stronger and stronger so I was happy.

This picture was taken about an hour or two before we went to the hospital. I was probably at a 4 or 5 at this point.

Around 3:00 pm we decided to get ready to go to the hospital, but we would make a stop by Old Navy on the way so we could get a going home outfit for Lark (I had given away all my newborn clothing and hadn't bought any new ones yet). I got a sudden craving for Subway, so Husband and I ate in the car while my mom went shopping. I had some intense contractions in the car that I could tell were making me dilate - the sensation and mental images of those ones were like widening donut rings.

We got to the hospital at 4:00 pm and first things first - "Excuse me, where is the nearest bathroom?" I wonder what the lady at the front desk thought when Husband told her I was in labor because I asked her calmly like I was just walking by and stopped in to use the facilities. Then we went up to labor and delivery and they put me in triage. This is when I started getting nervous for the first time and shaking a little bit - what if I wasn't dilated enough? But best news ever, I was at a six! And then I knew for sure that I was going to do this naturally. It was totally doable. I was more than half way there. I wasn't in any pain. I was focused.

They took me to a delivery room and I sat on the bed just like the rocker and breathed through my contractions and two hours later I was at an eight! It was very peaceful and quiet with the lights dim. My mom and Husband took turns rubbing my feet with essential oils and between contractions we chatted with my midwife.

Lesson number two - I never stopped listening to my relaxation music the entire time and this was key to my staying in control of the contractions. I could hear everything that was going on around me, but I could slip away whenever I needed.

Two hours later we hit the first bump in the road - I was stuck at an eight. Lark's head was at a slight angle so we needed to try some new positions to help align her. My water also hadn't broken yet, so we decided to have my midwife break it to help things along as well. I went from bouncing on my yoga ball, to sitting in the tub, to back on the bed this time laying on my side when out of nowhere I got really uncomfortable. I still can't say it was painful but I couldn't get in a position that felt right. I still did deep breathing through my contractions but I couldn't keep them totally under control like before and then I remember saying, "I want to push!"

Then I really couldn't find a position I liked. Finally after some pretty uncomfortable contractions in positions I didn't like, I settled on squatting with the end of the bed lowered and I wanted my midwife to tell me when to push since I couldn't seem to figure out how to do it productively myself. Hypnobirthing teaches you to breath the baby down but that was not going to work for me at this point - I wasn't relaxed enough. And I was ready to be done. It had been 24 hours of not physical, but mental exhaustion. I reminded myself to stay calm, it would be over soon and I was praying.

Lesson number three - My body knew what it was doing so my job was to not let fear or doubt creep in and interfere. It was like running a mental marathon.

I pushed her out in four or five contractions. The amazing thing was though that again, it didn't hurt. I felt the slightest little sting when she crowned (what is called the 'ring of fire'), but other than that it felt exactly like when I pushed the Little Miss out with an epidural - pressure. Except this time I could feel where Lark was so it was more encouraging because I knew she was almost out. And then all of a sudden it was over and they gave me my squished but beautiful little girl!

In the end I didn't tear, I didn't swell nearly as much as the first time, I wasn't as tired, I wasn't ghostly pale like I was for days after having the Little Miss, I didn't bleed as much, I wasn't as sore... everything about my recovery has been a million times better and easier.

When I compare my two birth experiences it is so apparent to me that the second time around I didn't let fear make my decisions for me. And I have never felt more empowered!

Lesson number four - Giving birth is natural and beautiful and truly a miracle. And, amazingly, it doesn't have to hurt.

The Green Flea

Everyone's always talking about the Brooklyn Flea, but I'm rather partial to the Upper West Side's own Green Flea.

Besides, I can walk there ;)

Photos taken on my phone last Sunday.

Lebasque on Breastfeeding

Motherhood or Madame Lebasque and Her Children (1905).

By Henri Lebasque (1865-1937).

Epic Monday, Part 2

So, I know every other post has been all gala gala gala, but indulge me a bit more while I share a few more behind-the-scenes details about the amazing Our Time event ;) If you're just joining in, you can read Part 1, here.

It really was a special night, and even though every year the event gets fancier, the thing that makes it so memorable is not material. I am talking about the energy and intent that is at the heart of the organization, which has remained the same since Our Time's very first season, ten years ago. An ethos of acceptance, support, fun and LOVE pervades everything that Our Time does, but gala night is always the night that those things are celebrated with glamour and panache and a dash of showbiz, and it is always a thrill to be a part of it.

For many Our Time company members, the gala gives them their first opportunity to speak, sing, and dance onstage. Other company members have been in the spotlight many times but nevertheless are still thrilled to share their voices with the world. To say that the kids get excited about this opportunity is an understatement. They tend to dress for the occasion, revealing sartorial talents that rival those of seasoned red-carpet-walkers. Just look at the flair:

When I arrived at the venue on Monday night, it was just in time to steal backstage and join Taro for the traditional pre-show "hype" which is basically a rousing pep-talk crossed with a warm welcome of the Guest of Honor into the Our Time family, crossed with impassioned reminders about the power and importance of listening and being there for each other, and respecting one's own voice. Hype usually results in a room full of teary-eyed folks grinning from ear-to-ear, clapping and stomping a call-and-response with Taro:

"When I say Our Time, you say 'bout time -- OUR TIME"

"'BOUT TIME!"

"OUR TIME"

"'BOUT TIME!"

Pretty soon the whole room of kids, guest performers, Our Time volunteers and press were worked up into a cheering, stomping frenzy, and Carly Simon (last year's recipient of the Our Time Award) and David Seidler (this year's recipient) were busting a move in the middle of it all, arm-in-arm.

David, Taro, and Carly taking a breather after hype:

Members of the press interviewing our Oscar-Winning Honoree:

Yours truly. Happy, proud, and excited (and running to make it out to my seat in the auditorium before "places"):

Part 3 coming soon ;)

Photos by Mikiodo and C. Bay Milin.

we have a winner!

The lucky winner of the Twig hoop earrings by BMJNYC is...

Jessica Perkins!

Congrats, Jessica :)

Thank you to everyone who entered!

Photo via Flickr

stuff i dig

This warm and glow-y art-filled kitchen, found here.

Maegan's amazing braid tutorial.

How to make your own kid-friendly set of travel watercolors.

DIY details here. Found here.

This gorgeous photograph, from here.

Every single thing about this book-themed baby shower.

Created by these folks, obviously!

Wings! Easy instructions here. Found here.

What things are you digging today?