thought for your monday

"Most learning is not the result of instruction. It is rather the result of unhampered participation in a meaningful setting. Most people learn best by being 'with it,' yet school makes them identify their personal, cognitive growth with elaborate planning and manipulation."

— Ivan Illich (Deschooling Society)

Artwork by James Jean.

Meeting Ina May

That's me, beaming away, just moments after meeting Ina May Gaskin and having her sign my copy of her new book at an appearance in Brooklyn on Sunday.

Ina May has been called the mother of authentic midwifery and the most important person in maternity care in North America, and I have long admired her and utilized her books equally as reference texts and spiritual guides to birth and motherhood.

It was such a thrill to hear her speak (at length, before a packed venue), such a privilege to absorb her wisdom in person (from the front row -- I got there early!), and an absolute joy to experience her down-to-earth personality and hilarious sense of humor. To top it all off, I have to say that at 70 years young she has quite the quirky-cute fashion sensibility (making her even more of my idol than she already was). My girlfriends, Jen and Nancy, and I were just plain giddy to be there.

Early on in her talk, Ina May said something that I keep thinking about: we live in such a fast-paced, mechanized world -- we inhabit vast urban and suburban environments, we rely ever more on our beloved phones, computers and electronic gadgets, we do so many things with the aid of machines and technology -- it's easy to forget a simple fact, which is that

we are Nature.

Other memorable moments:

• Hearing Ina May debunk some of the fundamental building blocks of Western thought, including Plato's ideas on the body, before going on to opine on the merits of fart jokes and Wayne's World.
• Listening to her talk about humor as an excellent anecdote to fear.
• Two words: Sphincter Law.
• She shared the story of the birth of her first child, which occurred in a hospital and involved various unnecessary and traumatic interventions, which was very fascinating and moving to hear about. She said she is now grateful for that experience because of what she learned from it.
• "Men think only their stuff can get big and then small again without being ruined." Brought the house down.

It was great. I can't wait to read the new book!

Sir Ken Robinson on Revolutionizing Education

Sir Ken Robinson addressed the TED conference in 2006 on the topic of How School Kills Creativity (I posted about it here). Now he's back, with these two excellent videos that will really shake up the way you think about education. I urge you to watch if you care about children, learning, and truly improving our school system.

This is why I believe in Unschooling. It is the ultimate in organic education, suited to the genius of each individual child.

I'd love it if you'd leave a comment with your thoughts!

Via A Wild and Precious Life.

The Story of Bottled Water

That's it. No more bottled water for me. Click to watch this full screen.

Via Lovely Little Things.

The War on Kids vs. Delight-Driven Learning

I enjoyed this interview with the Cevin Soling, the Director of a new film, The War on Kids, that aired this week on The Colbert Report. I love Soling's observations about the brokenness of the school system, and the movie sounds like it will add a great dimension to the public debate over education.

While we're on the topic of school and learning, I wanted to share this video by Unschooling mom and activist Dayna Martin. Her words confirm for me the rightness of allowing kids to follow their interests and passions instead of forcing them into institutions to be educated. I love her phrase "delight-driven learning! What a positive alternative to the war on kids. (Via This Inspired Life).

How School Kills Creativity

Not-Back-To-School-Fashion

Even though I did go to college, the unschooler in me is loving these "I don't go to University" T-shirts and sweats. Kinda made my day. Order here. Via Zoomdoggle.

The First Kiddos' First Day of School

Photos here.  Via Politico.

Theatre Fun

The Kiddo has been having a blast all week hanging out at the Cherry Lane Theatre, where T's theatre company is preparing for their upcoming show, which opens tomorrow night.

Here he is checking out the construction of the set and designing of the light cues, having fun with company member (and his new favorite person) Victoria, and finally, as the Kiddo himself says, "runnin' aroun' 'n' aroun' 'n' aroun'!"

Conversations on Birth

In the wake of yesterday's New York Times article about home birth, the topic of home birth has taken the blogosphere by storm.  Of course, many of the natural-birth activism/midwifery blogs are all over it, but because this was such a high-profile news piece I have noticed conversations sparked in less-expected corners of the internet.  Places like a Glamour Magazine sex-and-relationships blog, a pop culture site, and a home decor site.

I am glad to see much-needed attention being given to the issue of birthing options, and conversation is a good thing.  However, I have been appalled by some of the ferociously hostile words coming from women aimed at women who choose to have home births.  Take for example an excerpt from a post that went up on Jezebel today, authored by someone not at all keen on the concept of being subjected a home-birthing neighbor's supposed "caterwauling":

"...if you choose to give birth at home in the apartment above mine, you have to accept my choice to leave a steaming bag of dog poo in your mailbox."

These vitriolic comments are not coming from people within the medical establishment, in fact their comments betray an outright ignorance of medical fact to go along with their bile.  Take for instance these words from popular decor blogger Decorno, who envisions hospitals to be havens of happy hour, apparently:

"This kind of back-to-roots childbirth business is a load of crap.  To my future baby: Momma will have you with some drugs in her. Deal with it. Immediately following birth, she will ask the doctor to grab her compact and her Chanel lipstick and will re-apply before ordering a cocktail. You will not be born in an inflatable pool, nor in Queens. These will be the two ways in which I reassure you that I actually love you. Welcome to the world. Love, Your Mother. Now hand me my cigarettes..."

That one is so out there you actually have to kind of smirk.  And indeed, I realize that Decorno was probably shooting for laughs when she wrote that.  And it's not that I don't have a sense of humor -- one of the reasons I frequent Decorno is the always cheeky wit -- what gets me is that this woman is so anti-home-birth that she didn't even read the Times article before she got her panties in a wad and posted negatively about it on her blog!

Granted, everyone has a right to blog what they choose to blog on their own blog.  And everyone has a right to form their own opinions about this and any other important topic.  But what disturbs me is the utter irresponsibility of people like this as women, basically hating on other women's right to give birth outside of a hospital setting.  I just don't get that.  And what's with the viciousness?  I can't help but be sad, thinking about how threatened most people are by the idea of really talking about the female body, reproduction, and the natural processes surrounding the way we all arrive on the planet:  birth.

UPDATE, 11:39 pm:  After posting this and leaving what I felt to be an incredibly respectful and generous comment on the Decorno post quoted above, it seems that Decorno and her readers now find me "humorless."  What do you think?

Photo of my home birth, by Liz Rubincam.

Home Birth in the New York Times

Today's New York Times features a huge article about home birth, featuring beautiful photographs by my dear friend Liz Rubincam (who also photographed the Kiddo's birth!).

I am elated to see so much space devoted to this topic, and I have to say that the overall angle of the article puts the home birth movement in a favorable light and provides a relatively in-depth look at what is a growing trend in Manhattan.  I urge you to read the article and the accompanying online features including the slideshow (which features additional great quotes and home birth stories) and reader forum, which has already logged 234 comments since yesterday!

Chime in here, too of course :)  Let me know what you think about the article and/or home birth by leaving a comment on this post.

Photos by Liz Rubincam for the New York Times.

Gloria Lemay's Excellent Advice

One of my favorite birth-activist bloggers, Gloria Lemay, has a FABULOUS post up right now on her amazing blog.  I am so impressed by the usefulness of this information that I feel moved to repost it here and encourage my readers to act on her advice and pass it on.  And of course, you must read more of Gloria's excellent perspectives on home birth, breastfeeding, health, and wellness, here.  (Thank you, Gloria!)

The following was posted by Gloria Lemay on October 28, 2008:

AFTER THE BIRTH, WHAT A FAMILY NEEDS

“Let me know if I can help you in any way when the baby is born.” … “Just let me know if you need a hand.” … “Anything I can do, just give me a call.”

Most pregnant women get these statements from friends and family but shy away from making requests when they are up to their ears in dirty laundry, unmade beds, dust bunnies and countertops crowded with dirty dishes. The myth of “I’m fine, I’m doing great, new motherhood is wonderful, I can cope and my husband is the Rock of Gibraltar” is pervasive in postpartum land. If you’re too shy to ask for help and make straight requests of people, I suggest sending the following list out to your friends and family. These are the things I have found to be missing in every house with a new baby. It’s actually easy and fun for outsiders to remedy these problems for the new parents but there seems to be a lot of confusion about what’s wanted and needed…

1. Buy us toilet paper, milk and beautiful whole grain bread.

2. Buy us a new garbage can with a swing top lid and 6 pairs of black cotton underpants (women’s size____).

3. Make us a big supper salad with feta cheese, black Kalamata olives, toasted almonds, organic green crispy things and a nice homemade dressing on the side. Drop it off and leave right away. Or, buy us frozen lasagna, garlic bread, a bag of salad, a big jug of juice, and maybe some cookies to have for dessert. Drop it off and leave right away.

4. Come over about 2 in the afternoon, hold the baby while I have a hot shower, put me to bed with the baby and then fold all the piles of laundry that have been dumped on the couch, beds or in the room corners. If there’s no laundry to fold yet, do some.

5. Come over at l0 a.m., make me eggs, toast and a 1/2 grapefruit. Clean my fridge and throw out everything you are in doubt about. Don’t ask me about anything; just use your best judgment.

6. Put a sign on my door saying “Dear Friends and Family, Mom and baby need extra rest right now. Please come back in 7 days but phone first. All donations of casserole dinners would be most welcome. Thank you for caring about this family.”

7. Come over in your work clothes and vacuum and dust my house and then leave quietly. It’s tiring for me to chat and have tea with visitors but it will renew my soul to get some rest knowing I will wake up to clean, organized space.

8. Take my older kids for a really fun-filled afternoon to a park, zoo or Science World and feed them healthy food.

9. Come over and give my husband a two hour break so he can go to a coffee shop, pub, hockey rink or some other r & r that will delight him. Fold more laundry.

10. Make me a giant pot of vegetable soup and clean the kitchen completely afterwards. Take a big garbage bag and empty every trash basket in the house and reline with fresh bags.

These are the kindnesses that new families remember and appreciate forever. It’s easy to spend money on gifts but the things that really make a difference are the services for the body and soul described above. Most of your friends and family members don’t know what they can do that won’t be an intrusion. They also can’t devote 40 hours to supporting you but they would be thrilled to devote 4 hours. If you let 10 people help you out for 4 hours, you will have the 40 hours of rested, adult support you really need with a newborn in the house. There’s magic in the little prayer “I need help.”

"Anti-Schoolers" in the New York Times

The New York Times ran an interesting story today about unschooling, a little-known and often misunderstood offshoot of the home schooling movement.  As someone who was raised in an unschooling family, I was thrilled to read such an informative and well-written article on the topic in such a mainstream publication.  I urge you to read the article and leave me a comment letting me know your thoughts!

Before you go, let me leave you with one of my favorite quotes relating to the deficiencies of school-based learning, by one of the greatest and most famous teachers of all time:

"I am beginning to suspect all elaborate and special systems of education. They seem to me to be built upon the supposition that every child is a kind of idiot who must be taught to think. Whereas, if the child is left to himself, he will think more and better, if less showily. Let him go and come freely, let him touch real things and combine his impressions for himself, instead of sitting indoors at a little round table, while a sweet-voiced teacher suggests that he build a stone wall with his wooden blocks, or make a rainbow out of strips of coloured paper, or plant straw trees in bead flower-pots. Such teaching fills the mind with artificial associations that must be got rid of, before the child can develop independent ideas out of actual experience." 

-- Anne Sullivan

photo, Michael Falco for The New York Times