thought for your thursday

I love this little embroidered quote from Allicoate on Etsy.

words for your weekend

“I’m not telling you to make the world better, because I don’t think that progress is necessarily part of the package, I’m just telling you to live in it. Not just to endure it, not just to suffer it, not just to pass through it, but to live in it. To look at it. To try to get the picture. To live recklessly. To take chances. To make your own work and take pride in it. To seize the moment. And if you ask me why you should bother to do that, I could tell you that the grave’s a fine and private place, but none I think do there embrace. Nor do they sing there, or write, or argue, or see the tidal bore on the Amazon, or touch their children. And that’s what there is to do and get it while you can and good luck at it.”

--Joan Didion,

in a commencement address at the University of California, Riverside,

in 1975.

Image via Flickr.

thought (and poster!) for your monday

"This is your life. Do what you love, and do it often. If you don't like something, change it. If you don't like your job, quit. If you don't have enough time, stop watching TV. If you are looking for the love of your life, stop. They will be waiting for you when you start doing things you love. Stop over analyzing, life is simple. All emotions are beautiful. When you eat, appreciate every last bite. Open your mind, arms, and heart to new things and people, we are united in our differences. Ask the next person you see what their passion is, and share your inspiring dream with them. Travel often. Getting lost will help you find yourself. Some opportunities only come once, seize them. Life is about the people you meet, and the things you create with them, so go out and start creating. Life is short. Live your dream and share your passion."

--The Holstee Manifesto, 2009.

Order the poster here.

thought for your wednesday

“The most common way people give up their power

is by thinking they don't have any."

--Alice Walker

Image via HipZach's photostream.

the manifesto of encouragement

Photo found here.

Needing a little mid-week boost, I am reminded of this lovely piece forwarded to me several days ago by my good friend, Nancy. Originally posted on White Hot Truth, The Manifesto of Encouragement was written by Danielle LaPorte. It totally made my day better, so I had to share:

Right now:
There are Tibetan Buddhist monks in a temple in the Himalayas endlessly reciting mantras for the cessation of your suffering and for the flourishing of your happiness.
Someone you haven't met yet is already dreaming of adoring you.
Someone is writing a book that you will read in the next two years that will change how you look at life.
Nuns in the Alps are in endless vigil, praying for the Holy Spirit to alight the hearts of all of God's children.
A farmer is looking at his organic crops and whispering, "nourish them."
Someone wants to kiss you, to hold you, to make tea for you. Someone is willing to lend you money, wants to know what your favourite food is, and treat you to a movie. Someone in your orbit has something immensely valuable to give you -- for free.
Something is being invented this year that will change how your generation lives, communicates, heals and passes on.
The next great song is being rehearsed.
Thousands of people are in yoga classes right now intentionally sending light out from their heart chakras and wrapping it around the earth.
Millions of children are assuming that everything is amazing and will always be that way.
Someone is in profound pain, and a few months from now, they'll be thriving like never before. They just can't see it from where they're at.
Someone who is craving to be partnered, to be acknowledged, to ARRIVE, will get precisely what they want -- and even more. And because that gift will be so fantastical in it's reach and sweetness, it will quite magically alter their memory of angsty longing and render it all "So worth the wait."
Someone has recently cracked open their joyous, genuine nature because they did the hard work of hauling years of oppression off of their psyche -- this luminous juju is floating in the ether, and is accessible to you.
Someone just this second wished for world peace, in earnest.
Someone is fighting the fight so that you don't have to.
Some civil servant is making sure that you get your mail, and your garbage is picked up, that the trains are running on time, and that you are generally safe. Someone is dedicating their days to protecting your civil liberties and clean drinking water.
Someone is regaining their sanity. Someone is coming back from the dead. Someone is genuinely forgiving the seemingly unforgivable. Someone is curing the incurable.

You. Me. Some. One. Now.

Alice Dancing Under the Gallows

Watch this incredible clip of an upcoming film about the oldest living Holocaust survivor in the world, Alice Herz-Sommer, who will turn 107 this month. Her wisdom, attitude, optimistic spirit, beautiful music and open heart will move you to tears. I can't wait to see the entire film when it comes out early next year. What an uplifting story. Via Tralalère.

Quote of the Day

Design by Shirley-Ann Dick, via Studio Overland and Underwood

Thought For the Day

"Clutter and mess show us that life is being lived...Tidiness makes me think of held breath, of suspended animation... Perfectionism is a mean, frozen form of idealism, while messes are the artist's true friend. What people somehow forgot to mention when we were children was that we need to make messes in order to find out who we are and why we are here."

— Anne Lamott

Quote via Daisy Yellow

Photo via WeHeartIt (no trackback)

Thought For the Day

Via Everything Fabulous.

Quote of the Day

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favour all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can begin it, boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now."

--Goethe

Image via Imgfave

Quote via my husband. It was passed to him by our friend, Marianne.

Quote of the Day

"We can complain because rose bushes have thorns,

or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses."

~ Abraham Lincoln

Quote via Daisy Yellow. Image via WeHeartIt.

The War on Kids vs. Delight-Driven Learning

I enjoyed this interview with the Cevin Soling, the Director of a new film, The War on Kids, that aired this week on The Colbert Report. I love Soling's observations about the brokenness of the school system, and the movie sounds like it will add a great dimension to the public debate over education.

While we're on the topic of school and learning, I wanted to share this video by Unschooling mom and activist Dayna Martin. Her words confirm for me the rightness of allowing kids to follow their interests and passions instead of forcing them into institutions to be educated. I love her phrase "delight-driven learning! What a positive alternative to the war on kids. (Via This Inspired Life).

Birth Story of the Week: Martha's Story

Because this week is my birthday week, I thought it would be apropos to invite my mom to tell the story of my birth as Birth Story of the Week! I am so grateful to her for sharing this with my readers. My mother has been THE influence on my life when it comes to all things related to child rearing, but most especially she has made me the passionate birth activist that I am. And even though I have known this story for as long as I can remember, it really moved me so deeply to see it after all these years in written form. My birth was both a trauma and a triumph for my mom, and for all its imperfections and unnecessary interventions, it was the beginning of a journey that led mom to learn more about birth and take more control of the births of my younger siblings. By the time my sister was born (nine years later, at home, with a midwife) I was well on my way to a much better child-bearing future because of what I was learning from my mom. I was present for the birth of my little sister and even as a child I knew that that was the way I wanted to go when having kids of my own.

It is largely because of my mother's experiences and sacrifices that I have had the opportunity and wherewithal to have two wonderful home births. It is also her thirst for knowledge on this topic, as well as her spirit of activism that has inspired me to share so many of my choices on this blog.

So, thanks, mom! Not only for giving birth to me, but for instilling in me the importance of taking control of the processes of pregnancy and birth for myself instead of following along with the status quo of the medical establishment. I love you, and I am forever grateful!

--Leigh

Early morning (approximately 7:00 a.m.), November 26, 1978 I woke up to make my usual morning trek to our very green bathroom, trying as always not to wake myself up. This was not a usual morning. I discovered very quickly that I was spotting and I was wide awake. I knew this would (most likely) be the day I would meet the little person growing inside me. It was exciting now that it was actually happening, although my entire pregnancy I had been just a tad nervous. Unfortunately, my mother’s birth experience with me had been pretty much a nightmare and try as I might it had been difficult to shake some of those fears passed down from her. Our plan most of our pregnancy was to take our time getting to the hospital. I had heard first births, for the most part, tend to be long. Advice from friends and even the instructor of our childbirth class, was to not rush to the hospital at the first sign of labor. Even our doctor encouraged us to take our time. With that advice in mind and because it was so early, I went back to bed, laid down next to my husband and whispered, “Guess who’s coming today.” In his sleep and being the good husband that he was, mumbled, “Who?” I said, “A little baby.” It was hilarious to see this man, who was known for his deep sleeping ability sit bolt upright in bed. He was beside himself and together we were trying to stay calm, cool and collected. We had decided if labor was not intense and it was early, we would try to go back to sleep. My husband stuck to the plan. He slept. My mind was spinning. I was about to be a mother. Would I know what to do with a little baby? After all, I had never been around babies before. Would I be able to nurse? Would there be enough milk? Could I avoid having a section? Would labor be anything like my mother’s description? Then the contractions began. Sleep for me was out of the question and by around 9:30 a.m. we were checking into the hospital (20 minutes away). So much for the “taking our time plan”.

When we got to the hospital my husband went to sign on the dotted line and the nurse assigned to be with me until the baby came took me to what would be my labor room.

My nurse was very nice. She had actually heard of my husband, so I thought that was a good sign. She had me slip into my hospital gown, and then empty my bladder. I don’t really remember the order of things after that. I was prepped and given an enema. Then came the needle person to put the IV in. I remember thinking why did all these things have to be done to me? My grandmother’s birthed 18 babies between the two of them, all at home, and they never had to go through any of the prepping I was experiencing. Once the IV was in and the blood pressure cuff was put on, I was pretty much bound to the bed. When my nurse ruptured the membrane (there was no waiting to see how labor progressed, membrane rupture was just part of the routine), I asked, “Why does my water have to be broken? Won’t that just happen on its own?” My nice nurse said, “It will help labor go faster”. I remember thinking, “well that can’t be a bad thing.” So the water was broken and instantly the labor took on a whole new dimension.

It never occurred to me that I could be walking around, sitting up, squatting (no birthing tubs 31 years ago). I was told I would have to lay down. It’s difficult to hold things together laying flat on your back when you’re trying to do things naturally. My husband and I tried to breathe through the contractions but they were very strong and very fast. Unfortunately, I had not done my homework after getting pregnant. I had been conditioned to believe and trust anything a doctor said and so I did. I followed his protocol, never thinking there could be a better way.

Around 1:00 p.m. (not sure about the time) the need for something to ease the pain became overwhelming. Since I was no fan of needles there was absolutely no way I was going to have an epidural or to have anything put into my spine. I was adamant about that before ever going into labor, thanks to those childbirth classes. I assumed (because I had been told), Demerol was a good alternative and that’s what we went with.

Demerol worked perfectly, between contractions. I slept like a baby. It did nothing while I was actually having the contractions except dull my senses. The pain was still just as intense and I couldn’t move. I laid on my back through my entire labor and wasn’t even hooked up to a fetal monitor (they weren’t being used in the good old days). When it came time to push, I was too doped up to push effectively; my precious baby was reaping the benefits of my decision and I didn’t even realize it. I always felt because of the decisions I made that day, her arrival was probably prolonged.

After pushing for what seemed like forever, the decision was made to use forceps. That of course terrified me (even in my brain fog from demerol) because forceps were used at my birth. My mother contracted a life threatening infection from the use of forceps “Childbirth Fever” and I had a life threatening concussion. Then there was my episiotomy (just another part of the routine), all the way to my rectum. The doctor stopped cutting but I just kept tearing. I assumed that had to be done to get the forceps in. Fortunately my beautiful baby daughter was crowning so the forceps didn’t have to go far. Then it happened. Everyone was so excited in the delivery room, “It’s a girl! It’s a girl!” in my drug-induced state I was excited as I could be and then I saw her. She was purple. I thought she was dying. I didn’t get to hold her. She was whisked away.

In between naps (the drugs) I kept asking if she was O.K. I kept being reassured that she was just fine but it was several hours before I saw my baby.

At the time (31 years ago), I thought that was how birthing should be. I thought that was “normal”. When I saw my baby girl, she was absolutely beautiful. I couldn’t imagine that she came from me. I couldn’t stop looking at her and except for some bruising from the forceps she was absolutely perfect.

My husband was so supportive of me and so thrilled to be the father of this little girl. I owe him a huge debt of gratitude for encouraging me to breast feed. I had never been in the presence of anyone who nursed and I wasn’t at all sure that was the thing to do but he nudged me lovingly so I committed to six weeks and those weeks turned into months. That decision changed my life. That decision bonded me to that precious little life. It gave me confidence and purpose .

I look back 31 years and I get teary thinking how I could have better educated myself and when I get down and low from thinking about it, I’m reminded of the gift I was given and the joy that little girl brought to our family. She made us better. I can’t imagine never having had her in my life. Today I look at the adult that little girl has become and I’m overwhelmed with gratitude, love and pride. She is a beautiful, brilliant, wonderful daughter. She’s making a difference in the lives of many women. Women just like that young mother 31 years ago who just need someone to lead the way. What could be better than that?

--Martha Pennebaker,
11.18.2009

Sakura Bloom Triathlon: Interview Question 2

How is your personality reflected in your parenting style?

I am an intensely inquisitive person. I love to read, research, and explore. I am in a constant state of Wanting To Gain Knowledge. When it comes to parenting, I have an even stronger sense of inquiry -- I devour books, articles, and blogs on pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, parenting, and education. I strive to constantly learn more about these topics for the benefit of my children, as well as to understand myself on a deeper level, and (hopefully!) become a better, wiser parent.

This trait also leads me not only to encourage my son's own sense of inquiry, but to relish being by their sides as they explore the world for themselves. I am inspired by watching my boys absorb new ideas and information, and I feel privileged to be able to facilitate that learning process each and every day.

Birth Story of the Week

I saw this amazing birth story on The Unnecesarean yesterday (have you subscribed to that blog yet? Because it is awesome -- one of my favorites on the topic of birth) and I felt that I had to share it. What a beautiful journey this video depicts. It got me thinking about all the interesting, informative, inspiring birth stories that are out there, and how cool it could be to explore some of them on Marvelous Kiddo. So consider this the first installment in a regular feature on my blog: "Birth Story of the Week"! On that note, I would love to hear YOUR birth stories...so if you feel like sharing, email me at leigh(at)leighpennebaker(dot)com. Thanks!

Thought For the Day

Via Endofmarch.

Happy World Breastfeeding Week

To celebrate, check out this gorgeous PSA from Puerto Rico, called "To Give the Breast is to Give Life."  I posted this once last year, but it is one of the coolest things I've ever seen produced for TV so I'm giving it an encore performance here on Marvelous Kiddo!

Quote of the Day

"It is the nature of the child to be dependent, and it is the nature of dependence to be outgrown. Begrudging dependency because it is not independence is like begrudging winter because it is not yet spring. Dependency blossoms into independence in its own time."

--Peggy O'Mara, Editor, Mothering Magazine.  

Quote found via Primal Mommies.

Photo via Rosa Pomar's Flickr.